The Mother of all Cock Blocks

I was a groomsman in one of my best friends wedding in upstate NY. I was a high-school buddy of the groom and he met his wife in law school. The wedding was taking place in the hometown of the bride. As a single guy who just moved into to my present location I thought this would be the ideal opportunity to meet some quality single ladies and possibly treat them and myself to very entertaining late night. Everything went well throughout the day, the wedding was quick, the reception was long and filled with joy.

The story really begins at the hotel bar after the reception. I befriended a beautiful high-school friend of the bride at the bar, who just made the trip from North Carolina for the wedding. After a few beverages I asked her to dance. Now dancing is not my strong point but as you know sometimes you have to do what you have to do. She was really excited about being asked to dance, so one thing leads to another and where sucking face on the dance floor of the hotel bar. After getting some not so nice looks from some patrons of the bar she asked me if I wanted to go to another club down the street. So we sneak out the door and off we go. We didn't actually do much dancing at the club, it was more of a body shot session. I was getting tired and asked this nice lady to back to my room and she said "Hell ya lets go!!"

“This is done deal” I thought to myself.

Guess what, I couldn't have been more wrong. As we were walking (or stumbling at this point) out the club, a site no man should see at this point in the evening comes walking in. Three people (Two bridesmaids and another groomsman) from the bridal party come walking in the door. One of the girls asked "oh where are you two going?"
"Back to the hotel" I say very casually.
She then grabs the beautiful girl from my arm and says
"She is too drunk to be going home with you!!"
“Excuse me”, I say, but it was too late as they moved to a table.

At this point I knew the cock block was in full effect and the only thing I could do is to wait it out. The most frustrating aspect was that until this day this particular bridesmaid never met the girl I was with….. they were strangers. STRANGERS!!! Now who in today's age gets cocked blocked by strangers!!!! Well I guess I do. I explain to this cock blocking person that I have no intention of being anything but a gentleman (lie), that all I'm doing is having a good time. I even went and took the other bridesmaid to the dance floor for a few songs. When I got back to the table the cock blocker told me that maybe it would be a good idea if I were to escort this girl back to the hotel. So she grabs my arm and out the door we go.

“I am the man” I thought to myself as we walked to one of the several cabs waiting outside. I survived the cock block, nothing can stop us now. We got into the cab and as soon as I said “Best Western” I hear

“Jimmy!!!!! How have you been.” She says to the cab driver.
“What” I think to myself.
“Oh, we were good friends in High School” she told me…
“This isn’t good” I thought to myself .
Then the cock blocking bridesmaid comes to the window and tells the cabbie that he should drop her off at her parents place and then take me back to the hotel.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” I say to myself. I tell Jimmy that the hotel will be fine, but Jimmy looks at us and says “I can’t do that., her parents live right down the street and I’m not going to tell her dad I took her back to the hotel with some dude.”
She looks at me and says very dejectedly, “Ya, I probably should go back to my parents house.”

This isn’t happening, I tell myself as the cab drives us to her dad’s house. We’re making out on the way to her place and then the cab stops she gets out and says “Well, I guess it was just no meant to be.” The cabbie takes me back to the hotel and when he asked for the fare I promptly tell him to go “F*** himself.” He agreed that he deserved no payment and drove off.

So in recap, I get cocked blocked on two separate occasions by total strangers. Sometimes life is just not fair.